Out-of-Character Advice
I once had a conversation with Dr. David K. Reynolds that I remember to this day, because the advice he shared seemed so out of character for him. David created Constructive Living, a therapy rooted in lifelong, disciplined work. His action-oriented approach, drawn from Zen and Morita Therapy, is about acting on your purpose despite your feelings – over and over and over and over again. He’s vehemently against quick-fix solutions.
But, as you can imagine, such long-term disciplined action is a scary proposition for a first-time patient who just wants instant relief. David knows this, and he’s a pragmatist.
“In that first session,” he said, “if I don’t give them something that helps them quickly, they’ll never come back for a second session.”
So what does David give them? A special homework assignment. And that assignment is as follows: “Go home and clean your apartment or house.”
David isn’t speaking in metaphors; this is a literal prescription.
Assuming there is no medical issue at play, the house-cleaning task immediately redirects their attention from their internal turmoil to a useful external goal. It gets them out of their head and into the physical world. And it allows them to accomplish something tangible that contributes to their own daily maintenance. When they finish, something in their life is objectively, undeniably better.
Naturally, this single act doesn’t provide a cure. But it’s a concrete win that provides just enough relief to create hope. And hope is what brings them back to David’s office for the disciplined work that lies ahead.
Whether or not you believe in this particular therapeutic approach isn’t the point. Instead, what I want you to think about is this: If you’re leading a team or working with clients on complex business problems, remember that you need to help them with their pain sooner rather than later.
We often hear that you shouldn’t just solve a symptom and think you’ve solved the problem. That’s true. But sometimes, helping with a symptom is what keeps people in the saddle long enough to solve the bigger issue.